Kate’s Blog

July 22, 2008

How on earth did this get to be so long?

Filed under: adulthood — Kate Degelau-Pierce @ 1:29 pm

You need to get past the obnoxious beginning (“It’s not surprising that it took me so long to discover the extent of my miseducation, because the last thing an elite education will teach you is its own inadequacy. As two dozen years at Yale and Columbia have shown me…”) and skip the odd tacked-on ending (“There’s been much talk of late about the loss of privacy, but equally calamitous is its corollary, the loss of solitude.”), but this article about just what you get and don’t get from an elite education has some good points.

How racial diversity isn’t the problem (at least not Yale):

Visit any elite campus in our great nation and you can thrill to the heartwarming spectacle of the children of white businesspeople and professionals studying and playing alongside the children of black, Asian, and Latino businesspeople and professionals. At the same time, because these schools tend to cultivate liberal attitudes, they leave their students in the paradoxical position of wanting to advocate on behalf of the working class while being unable to hold a simple conversation with anyone in it.

People who succeed are only smart in one way:

I also never learned that there are smart people who aren’t “smart.” The existence of multiple forms of intelligence has become a commonplace, but however much elite universities like to sprinkle their incoming classes with a few actors or violinists, they select for and develop one form of intelligence: the analytic.

The attitudes that can develop:

The problem begins when students are encouraged to forget this truth, when academic excellence becomes excellence in some absolute sense, when “better at X” becomes simply “better.”

How never failing means that you’re afraid of it and leads to less risk-taking:

Because students from elite schools expect success, and expect it now. They have, by definition, never experienced anything else, and their sense of self has been built around their ability to succeed. The idea of not being successful terrifies them, disorients them, defeats them. They’ve been driven their whole lives by a fear of failure—often, in the first instance, by their parents’ fear of failure.

There’s more, too…

But students who get into elite schools are precisely the ones who have best learned to work within the system, so it’s almost impossible for them to see outside it, to see that it’s even there. Long before they got to college, they turned themselves into world-class hoop-jumpers and teacher-pleasers, getting A’s in every class no matter how boring they found the teacher or how pointless the subject, racking up eight or 10 extracurricular activities no matter what else they wanted to do with their time.

I don’t know how caricatured this is — even at U of M those kids were there, but only to some degree. I don’t know any kid who had every feature the author describes. I certainly never saw a whole class of people who fit that description. And yet… I only know a few people who ever studied whatever they wanted to. Most people were there to get the education so they could have a good career. I was certainly guilty of that. And who doesn’t know people who did a few things just to look good on their application or resume?

The problem is (and maybe the problem with the article?) is that once you’re in the real world, you can tell the people who are doing it (whatever *it* is) because they think they should, not because they want to. People who aren’t passionate are never going to be as successful as the people who care.

The author proves his own point by only being able to reference the world of academia. He doesn’t have stories from the business world, nothing terribly concrete from the political world, nothing from the non-profit world. How do students from elite universities do compared to someone from Cleveland University? In terms of making money? In terms of being happy? He doesn’t have anecdotal evidence, let alone data, to show that the elite universities produce people who are only narrowly successful and flawed in some fatal way.

In my experience, people are generally happy and will do what makes them happy. Their ability to get themselves into situations they enjoy, doing things they’re good at (that being building up their mind or making lots of money or being the best stay-at-home mom they can be or whatever) are the people who are the most successful, and you can’t describe them as fatally flawed.

But then, there I go being all analytical and stuff. And rambling. It’s way past the time that I should be back at work.

February 24, 2008

You Can Tell I’m an Adult Now

Filed under: adulthood, health — Kate Degelau-Pierce @ 12:24 am

One of the effects of falling down the stairs and landing on my tailbone Wednesday morning is that it still hurts to sit down. This has a couple of consequences. One, I’m puttering. The house is cleaner, I’ll probably end up ironing and cleaning out closets tomorrow. I might even get productive and bake bread. I do have to make chicken stock tomorrow. Two, I’m watching less television. This makes lowering my media use so that I’m more social a little easier. (My laptop is on the bar between the kitchen and dining area of the house so I can stand.) Three, I’m getting more exercise, just by walking around more. Which is good, given that I can’t do my normal calisthenics in the morning because I just hurt too much. I’ll hopefully be able to begin again next week, albeit without the crunches and stretching.

Why does this show that I’m an adult? Because I’m finding constructive things to do instead of just moping around or going for walks.

January 21, 2008

A Short Ramble

Filed under: adulthood, media, women — Kate Degelau-Pierce @ 11:39 pm

I watched Roman Holiday this weekend and later started thinking: could it be made with the same ending today?

I don’t think so. Princess Anne (Audrey Hepburn) chooses to leave behind her personal happiness for the duties and obligations of her job — a job she’s been born into, not chosen. That contradicts much of the extended adolescence we see in the media every day. (Note, I don’t think that adolescence happens as often in real life, but the media — particularly movies — cater to the young.) At best, in an updated version, Princess Anne would have arranged it so Joe could work PR in the royal organization so she could continue her work, or she’d renounce royalty altogether.

In 1953, it really would have been her job or her happiness.* I don’t know how unique it is that she chose her job over a romance. Now you get more options and it’s more acceptable to work and have a good marriage. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. So maybe it’s good that it couldn’t be made with that particular ending again. It’s progress that she could try to have it all.

But that’s also missing the point of the movie. By choosing her job, she’s grown up. She realizes that she has obligations to her people and needs to fulfill them. What choice could she make in today’s world that would communicate that same sense of responsibility and adulthood?**

Picture from IMDB.

* I know it’s more nuanced than that — it was never the case that women were just shunted aside. I’ve had enough conversations with my dad about growing up in 1940s and 50s rural Iowa [a deeply conservative place] to know that if it hadn’t been for the women doing their fair share, life would have been a hell of a lot harder. But I do question the recognition that they got and the choices they were allowed to make.

** Have I just argued that trying to have it all, not wanting to give up either a romance or a job, is childish? I’m not sure how I feel about that. I think any adult realizes that you have to make tradeoffs and you can’t have everything. Hmm….

May 5, 2006

Growing Up

Filed under: adulthood, personal — Kate Degelau-Pierce @ 5:13 pm

The stress of moving across the country finally got to me yesterday. I had a small freak-out because I got a cavity filled. I thought that the fact that I had cavities clearly means that I don’t know how to take care of myself. How could I be so incompetent?

This lead me into a whole thought-process about what it means to be an adult, because I’m pretty sure brushing your teeth so you don’t get cavities anymore is something you do as an adult. Aren’t you supposed to have the basics down? I mean, you’re not supposed to have a kid until you understand the basics, right? And I have a kid, so shouldn’t I be able to fucking brush my teeth every night instead of sometimes just collapsing on the bed in exhaustion?!?

Ahem. (None of this implies that I’m walking around with stinky breath all the time or anything. At least, I don’t think I am. You’d tell me if I were, right? Right?)

Where was I? Oh right, the list of what it means to be an adult. Being an adult means you:

  • can take care of your basic needs;
  • don’t live with outright filth — everyone’s definition of clean is different, but there is a minimum standard;
  • understand that sometimes you have to go through a little pain (like grad school) to get what you want (a good job);
  • can probably put together an acceptable meal from what’s in your fridge;
  • understand that you can’t always rely on someone else to take care of you*;
  • know what you like and what you don’t, and avoid what you don’t;
  • understand that actions have consequences, and think about that before you act;
  • know your limits.

I reached my limits yesterday. Luckily, today is my last day at work, and things have largely been set in motion, so that they’re going to happen regardless of what I do. So if I decide to flake out and curl up with a book tonight instead of taking care of last minute, mostly unimportant details? That’ll be ok.

* I had problems phrasing this one. How it’s written implies that there are circumstances where it’s ok to rely on someone else to take care of you — and in certain cases, like stay-at-home-mothers, there are. But, in the back of my mind, I always want to know: so what happens if that doesn’t work out? What’s your plan b?

February 9, 2005

Growing Up, Again

Filed under: adulthood, personal — Kate Degelau-Pierce @ 3:10 am

While driving back home from corporate headquarters this afternoon, I listed to Terry Gross interview Marilynne Robinson, who wrote Gilead, one of the books in my reading queue. I’ve been growing impatient with Fresh Air lately, and I’m not sure why. But during this one, the reason I turned off the radio in the middle was because they made me think more about Growing Up, and I wanted to continue that thought process.

They were talking about… well, actually it doesn’t really matter what they were talking about. But it was essentially a conversation about what being an adult is like. It’s about relationships with people and being responsible for who you are and what you do.

I’ve said before (at least I think I have) that being an adult gets you short-changed in this society. Caring more about the here and now will always get you more attention. But when I lived in Seattle, people were excited about being adults. They were excited about moving ahead with their careers, buying a house, getting married, and being responsible for who they were, without necessarily giving up knowing who the latest new band was or what the latest fashions were. That may be because of where they were in life, it may be something unique to Seattle, or it may just have been the particular set of people I knew there.

In Atlanta, it’s much more about the now. That’s evidenced most clearly by the chronic overspending to show how much money you (don’t) have. (Seriously, I know more than one person who thinks that the way to show off how much they have is to complain about how much they’re in debt.) Whatever happened to the future? What happened to planning and being responsible? And again, I’m not sure if it’s the place or who we know or the fact that we’re further into being grown-ups so some of the romance has worn off or some combination of those facts.

I’ve forgotten where I was going with this. (Forgive me, I’m tired.) I think my point was supposed to be that I like being an adult, but it’s harder when you’re surrounded by more who-needs-to-be-an-adult type messages.

My other point was that I’m looking forward to reading her book more now.

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